Friday, September 25, 2015
WTINW*: Failing Forward
I look fine. I seem fine. I know this.
Not that I would want it to be so obvious that I couldn't fake my way through 'normal' once in a while.
But there are times when it would be helpful for people to have some sort of idea that I'm moving slower for a reason... Not moving out of the way for a reason... [Even more of a] scatterbrained airhead for a reason...
Like today, when I realized after 10 minutes of standing in line at Sbucks that a: this was one of those days when standing in line for 10 minutes without something to hold on to was not going to end well and b: that my keys had disappeared.
No worries, though, they were safe in the car... in the ignition.. with the car turned on. not the engine, though, just the battery. so... could have been worse.
could have been much worse -- I'd also left the doors unlocked.
It's hard to explain exactly what's different about the way my mind works these days. I mean, people leave keys in the car all the time. Or get to the store without their wallet. And I certainly had my share of those incidents before I was sick.
But it's not really the end result that's the problem... it's the moment when I'm sitting in the car, ready to get out, and Can't Figure Out the steps that need to happen for things to work out well. Or when I'm leaving the house and Can't Figure Out the things that I need to take with me.
It's not the mistakes or the forgetfulness -- it's that my brain isn't able able to put things in categories, or in the right order; like I'm dyslexic with words, numbers, and life. Ask me to subtract units of time sometime, it will be highly entertaining.
But for today I will take the win with a good laugh and be grateful; at least I'm failing forward...
*Ways That I'm Not Well: the ridiculous ways in which life is different even though I look the same.